Virgins. They exist, they walk among us and they have normal lives just like you. There are so many people who are having sex that one would think that a virgin is an extinct creature that was something that was around back with the dinosaurs and cavemen. But ironically, they exist- yep people who have never had sex are real people. And I would know because I am one of them. So automatically I am exiled.
Send me straight to the Virgin Territory.
I first heard about the Virgin Territory on Twitter. A couple of people I follow had tweeted that MTV was coming out with a show about virgins and one person was actually looking forward to it. Immediately I was intrigued. MTV? Reality show about virgins? I was shocked, never did I expect to see a reality show depicting the life of someone who had never sex before. Now it may seem a bit of contradiction for me to say this but the life of someone who is a virgin is tad different from everyone else. So why not show the rest of America what it’s like.
I waited with anticipation for the show to come on. Finally July 16th came and so did the “Virgin Territory”. I missed the actual premiere of the show but I decided to watch it the next day.
You meet 4 people in the episode. Dominique, the girl who loves to go out and have fun but in her words “No Ringy, No Dingy”. Mikaela, the girl is who is actively searching for the right person to lose her virginity to. Kyle, the boy who loves to work out and go out but just the mere thought of sex and being intimate with a girl brings that innocent, childlike smile to his face. And lastly Lisa, the Christian who is 7 days from losing her virginity on her wedding day. If you weren’t able to already guess, they all happen to be virgins. But there is so much more to the story besides them not knowing what sex feels like.
Each one of them has a story. The two stories that really stuck out to me the most were of Dominique and Mikaela. I felt like if their story wasn’t my life, then I don’t know what was, especially with Mikaela.
Early in the episode, Dominique states that her friends tell her “she doesn’t act like a virgin”. And this is what brings me to discussing what makes us different. It isn’t because we chose to act all weird and removed from society. It’s because society chooses to act all weird and remove us from society. A virgin is something exists and it is something that always will exist. People have never had sex before and our society chooses to act like that is a lie. It isn’t. Virgins are normal people and there are probably more of them out there than people will acknowledge. Dominique is your typical 21 year old; loves to go out with her friends, meet guys, hang out and all of that good stuff. And she chooses not to have sex. The concept really isn’t that strange, or at least it shouldn’t be.
Mikaela’s story is what I am now figuring out is something happens to more people than me. She is your good girl; she has a lot of friends (who I can’t decide are good friends though), she’s in college, very attractive and focused on what she wants. But it seems as though when it comes to guys, she just can’t catch a break. From the cute guy who she was starting to feel for but after their date he tells her he has a girlfriend or from the guys she can’t get past the talking phase with. All she wants is something real and relationship with someone that she can trust enough to the point of losing her virginity with. It’s not much to ask, but it’s something that isn’t happening.
Their stories are honest, easy to relate to and raw. So what shocked me is the backlash this show has received. People seem to hate this show, like really hate this show. Lots of people believe that MTV really is stupid for putting this show on the air and can’t seem to figure out why people would want to share with the world that they’re virgins. And why is that?
Here’s why. Sex has become way too much of a tangible thing in our society. To paraphrase the great Dominique again, “sex is something thrown around left and right”. Speaking from my analysis and not from experience, sex is something that is easy to do. Waiting and truly holding out that is something is becoming one of the hardest things to do nowadays. Being a virgin has way more to do with not having sex or staying true to your religion. Being a virgin and choosing to give it up at the right moment means that you hold sex with a very high regard, which is something that is starting to become a thing of the past. Sex has become such a visible part of our society, it’s not a taboo anymore. What’s becoming the taboo is people who don’t engage in sexual intercourse. I pose the question: Are less people virgins because they were truly comfortable losing it or because they felt like it the necessary next step in their life? There used to be a time that a virgin was held with high regard for choosing to remain pure and whole but now it’s almost the complete opposite where virgins are treated indirectly like outcasts and endangered.
As someone who has never had sex before, I’ll end this: There is nothing wrong me, I’m not a freak, I’m normal just like you. I, like the other virgins, are waiting the right time to give up my virginity. It’s something I hold as very important and I would ask that you choose to respect what it is important to me. And all the other virgins out there like just me, Dominique, Mikaela, Kyle and Lisa. Thank you.