It’s been some time since I’ve graced everyone’s presence but I am here again! And I am feeling GREAT!
For starters, Happy New Year! 2014 has officially left. 2014 was actually a year that was to good to me. I like to refer to 2014 as the warm up. 2014 started the Tori 360 that was needed to take place, it’s started my transition in a womanhood. Through many trials, I was able to learn SO MUCH about myself. I grew so much and I believe that each day my confidence level raised. 2014 started me loving more of myself, I have finally started to accept who I am. From friendships to guys to my career to family, I was able to learn so much more about everything. 2014 ended on such a high so I am more than excited for 2015.
2015 has arrived and I am already interested to see where this is going to take me. I am about start my second of my junior year in college and I have so many opportunities going for me. Classes, internships, extracurricular activities, and other things are going to leave me busy all the time but this is what I live for. I have never been one to be bored (while I probably do have too much on my plate), I am going to milk the experiences from every single thing I chose to be apart of. I attended a seminar last year featuring a very successful woman who’s motto was to “be a student of the business”. Basically none of these activities are paid but the chance to learn so much and gain more experience is truly priceless to me.
Initially I wasn’t ready to come back to school because there was one pressing issue that I feel like holding me back. It was something I wanted (still want) very badly but it would come at a cost of a lot of things. I have been blessed to be around people who also are going after this as well but sometimes I feel as though I don’t want it as bad as they do. I have told myself countless times that I owe to myself to try because I will never forgive myself if I give up. However, I have had to tell myself that with whatever happens, that I will be ok and that God just has a different path for me.
Speaking of God, I have made a vow to myself that I need to grow my spiritual life. Growing up in church all of my life, I have been instilled with Christian values and morals in me that no matter what I do, will always be a part of me. However after going to church every Sunday of your life, coming to college has given me a break from church life. I honestly haven’t missed church because every time I don’t like going to the church I grew up in simply because of how much its changed. While I need to retrain myself to be in church every Sunday, I know it’s something I need in order to keep some stability in my life. 2015 in the year that I become more confident in my faith.
Wouldn’t be right to talk everything else and not even bring up relationships! I was able step my game up last year with having a few “bae-tentials”, as my friends would say. Each one of them were very different and I learned about myself dealing with each one of them. None of them went anywhere significant so I took that as my time so just take a break. I’m not gonna pretend that I don’t want a bae (everybody wants somebody lol) but I have had to finally realize it’s just not in the cards right now. There is too much self work that I still need to complete that I realize I don’t have the time, patience, and emotions to be trying to give to someone else right now. I have a really bad habit of getting in my own way so instead of creating my own steps, it’s time I sit back and truly let things happen the way God wants them to happen.
When people kept asking me was I ready for school or was I ready for the new year, I simply kept saying “kinda only because I know things are about to be interesting.” Good things are on their way, I can feel it. I feel like I am on a momentum of positivity right now and I am choosing to accept it. It’s time to be happy, time to live life, and time to truly just feel alive. Things are far from perfect but I am excited for where things are getting ready to go.
In her Golden Globe winning speech, Gina Rodriguez mentioned how her father told her to wake up every morning and say “I Can and I Will”. After accomplishing her goal, she beautifully said “I can and I did.” 2015 is truly the year of me believing that I can achieve greatness and I will.