Not only has love been a reoccurring theme of my summer, but its really been the theme of the past week. Not in the Valentine’s, Cupid’s little naked booty, romance me and hearts type of way. But in the way of understanding that love has many different dimensions.
I just celebrated my 22nd birthday and of course, you’re reminded by the people who actively love you that you are “loved” on that day. I like to call it that “surface level love”, that love that everybody perceives to be real. It can look like your parents love, it can look like your friends loving you, it can look like your man loving you, all of the above. I would argue that that side of love is really only about 10 percent of what love really is.
Chances are if I were to ask you what you think love is – you would say something along the lines of “love is warm, love is passionate, love is truthful, love is honest“. For those of you who grew up in church, you may hit me with the 1 Corinthians 13 that goes “Love Is Patient. Love Is Kind“. And if you were to ask me what my definition of love is in this current moment, I would hit you with
“Love is stressful. Love is demanding. Love is frustrating. Love is a pain in my ass. Love got me f*cked up.”
That’s where I am right now. But as bitter as that sounds – love is transforming me. See they don’t tell you in those happy ending movies that requires your all. Pure love should be unconditional – similar to how Jesus loves us. And in my recent conversations with him, I honestly have to ask “how and why do you do this?”.
I had to realize that love is one of the only entities that is ever changing but never loses its power. Love breaks boundaries, love changes, love inspires, love heals. But in order to be able to love (and to love fully), you have to let go. In order for love to do its perfect work, expectations can’t get all in the way. People in life will hurt you or disappoint you but if you truly love someone, you’ll be able to continue to love them even in the lowest moments. It’s a whole process but it can be done. Love is tangible and everyone has a chance to experience it.
This new season that I am in, I am asking God to help me with learning exactly what unconditional love is. I want to become a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better significant other. Because I haven’t been able to understand what pure love is, I realize that it has been holding me back to providing it to not only everyone around me, but giving love to myself.
It’s a proven fact that love is patient. So I have time to get this thing right. Bless